Watercooler: Where are you really from?
by Carmen Van Kerckhove
Watercooler is the section of the blog in which we share with you real-life horror stories from the frontlines of race in the workplace. 
This week, we have a story fromJohanna:
About a year ago, everyone in my workplace (a non-profit organization) was interviewed by an outside consultant regarding our ideas for the organization’s future. The first time I met the consultant was when I went in for my scheduled interview. Before beginning with the questions, she immediately had to know, “Where are you from?” I gritted my teeth & said, “Long Island,” hoping she would just leave it at that. Of course not; she had to get the details of my mixed-race background & when my parents came over here & when did I come over here (answer: I was born on Long Island!) & where did my name come from. I was very new to the job & felt like I couldn’t say anything, so I just tried to make my answers short & move on.
A year later, this same consultant came back to work with us again. She cornered me in the kitchen to talk about tea when she saw me washing out my teapot. What kind of tea did I keep in my desk? I sighed inwardly &, hoping to make the conversation short, said, “English Breakfast, chai…” She interrupted, apparently having forgotten about grilling me earlier, & asked, “Are you Indian?” I stopped, looked at her, & said, “No. I don’t have any ancestral connection to tea.” She said that she had been hoping I had some special techniques to share with her!
Please email [email protected] if you’d like to send in a story, put “watercooler” in the subject line, and let us know what name we should use for you. Pseudonyms and first names are totally fine. You can read more Watercooler stories here.
Carmen Van Kerckhove is co-founder and president of 
Katie wrote:
Reminds me a little of an experience I had a few months ago.
I’m a mixed-race Asian American, specifically Korean and White. My White boss passed me in the lunch room one day while I was eating takeout Chinese food with chopsticks. “Oh, that’s so cute, you’re eating with chopsticks,” she said. “Did you grow up eating that way?”
When called on it, she said that she was merely saying that it was interesting - really cool and different to her. I explained to her - and, to her credit, I think she kind of got it - that her particular brand of interest felt alot more like she was sterotyping/otherizing me due to her own ignorance.
Anyhow, not to take away from your story - I loved it! I freaking hate when people demand to know my background, and then use me as the default Token Asian…
Posted 08 Aug 2007 at 1:07 pm ¶
Karen wrote:
I understand how Katie and Carmen feel. I am a black woman and I work in a field where black people are not prevalant, at least not in this (Midwest) part of the country. The white people with whom I work always want to touch my hair, ask me how I got my hair that way, ask me if I know rappers or other black people they’ve met in Illinois (like I know every black person). I was even asked how “the black community” felt about Michael Jackson and OJ Simpson. I am not the entire black community, nor am I a window to the “black world.”
Having said that, I can see how people are intrigued by differences. I am always fascinated when I hear people speaking with accents different from mine. I don’t demand to know their heritage, but given the opportunity, I will tell them that I like their diction.
Posted 06 Sep 2007 at 2:21 pm ¶