by Carmen Van Kerckhove

Watercooler is the section of the blog in which we share with you real-life horror stories from the frontlines of race in the workplace. This week, we have a story from Kenya Woodman:

I once worked for a secretarial service a few years ago. It was a small office and most of the people there were mostly white and male, save myself and another Black woman. I came into the office one day after having my hair done the day before. I had my hair put into very neat, nice and professional braid extensions. I got lots of compliments on my way to work, but as soon as I came into the office, I got lots of weird and strange looks. One guy asked me “How do you wash your hair?” I was very offended but laughed it off and gave him a polite reply that I do indeed wash my hair. I got tired of all the looks and got them taken out a few days later and reverted back to the long, slightly curly look I had before. A young man came in and said “Gee I like your hair way better now, you’re really pretty. Are you mixed?” I asked him to clarify the question and he said “Well, I know you’re black but you’re pretty. You have to be mixed. Do you have any white, Asian or Native American in you?

I was so astonished I didn’t know what to say. Not only was he evaluating me in a sexist manner, He was implying that in order for a Black female to be beautiful she had to have something other than African ancestry. I am very proud of my heritage and am sure that I do indeed have ancestors from areas other than Africa, but I am just as proud of those who come from Africa as well. I remember just saying “No.” And walking away.

That was not the only racist or sexist thing I had to put up with while there. My last week there, a young attorney told me that my had a very “sexy” look. I told him in no uncertain terms that I didn’t think that was an appropriate way to talk to me. He noticed my supervisor standing there and walked away in shame. I expected my supervisor, a white female, to tell me that I didn’t have to put up with that kind of nonsense. But she simply cocked her head to the side and asked slyly what kinds of things I engage in while in the attorneys’ offices. I asked her to clarify her question and she said “Look I know certain kinds of behavior are acceptable where you’re from, but this is a place of business. I want you to be where I can see you at all times”

Needless to say, I left that place for greener pastures without a backwards glance. I’ve learned a lot over the years. And one thing I’ve learned is that racist or sexist language and behavior is not something I have to put up with me. It still makes me angry when I think back to that time in my life.

Please email team@raceintheworkplace.com if you’d like to send in a story, put “watercooler” in the subject line, and let us know what name we should use for you. Pseudonyms and first names are totally fine. You can read more Watercooler stories here.